Dave for Commissioner

 Posted by on 2014/08/14 at 19:10  Baseball, Sports
Aug 142014

Major League Baseball owners or their designated emissaries are gathered today in Baltimore to elect a successor to retiring Commissioner Bud Selig.  Apparently, there is enough back room dealing and cloak and dagger stuff going on to pique Tywin Lannister’s interest.  However, that stuff will be better covered by folks who have sources and stuff.  Me?  I’m going to explain the five main changes that, given the job, I would pursue.

First off, good riddance, Bud.  I’m sure that the owners will install another Commissioner who is every bit the empty suit that Selig has been, but that’s not enough to dampen the relief I feel seeing him go.  In fact, the first three things I’d do as Commissioner are direct repudiations of Selig’s legacy.  The last two are a bit more radical, and, I think, a bit more fun. Continue reading »

Jul 152014

This happened on Facebook earlier today, which I was perusing on my phone because the power was out because JCP&L hates customer satisfaction almost as much as Comcast:


In the immediate term, it’s fairly obvious that the Knicks are better off.  The Knicks have a ride-or-die Carmelo Anthony and not a coming-off-injury Kobe Bryant.  Putting aside the fact that north of $120 million would have most people ride-or-die for anything from the Knicks to Scientology, Melo is a top-5 scorer and under-appreciated rebounder.

Who knows what Steve Nash (one of my top-5 favorite players of all-time, a list topped by 5 time Champion Timmy D) has left, while the Knicks added serviceable point guard José Calderón in their first competent trade in recent memory.  Still, as a Knicks fan, pessimism about the direction of the team is a reflex.  Could they actually be better off than the Lakers? Continue reading »

We Could Be Villains

 Posted by on 2014/06/26 at 19:00  Soccer, Sports
Jun 262014

In case you’ve been under a rock for the past couple days, a dude did this during a Tuesday World Cup match:

"I don't drink... wine."

“I don’t drink… wine.”

That’s Uruguay ( / Liverpool) striker Luis Suarez.  Italy’s Mario Balotelli had been subbed out, making it fairly easy to say that he was also the best player on the field at that point in the match (I’d argue he’s better than Balotelli, but, let’s save that for another day).

Dave, what the hell?  Is he…


And he’s, like, good?

Really, really good.  He led the Premier League in goals last season.

This is also the third time he’s been caught biting an opposing player.

Seriously, WHAT THE HELL?!

So glad you asked.

Suarez complains to the ref as much as anybody on the field.  He flops in ways so brazen, I’d bet they raise Vlade Divac’s eyebrow.  He constantly looks like somebody farted in his nearby vicinity.  He also inspired this text, from my buddy Matt, in the aftermath of Tuesday’s chomping scandal:

Suarez vaulted into my top five favorite current footballers after that bite today.  He is a true villain, and the world is better for it.

I couldn’t agree more, and that’s only partially because I’m a shameless Liverpool homer. Continue reading »

Game of Thrones S4E10: The Children

 Posted by on 2014/06/19 at 13:25  Game of Thrones
Jun 192014

Where the hell do I start this week?  Might as well get this out of the way first:

WARNING: This post contains spoilers that include information regarding up to and including Season 4, Episode 10 of ‘Game of Thrones’.  You’ve been adequately warned.

As ‘Thrones’ season finales are apt to do, this season ended with more beginnings than it did endings.  In a departure from tradition, I’m going to lead off with some stray thoughts and then dive into my main takeaways from the episode, most of which shockingly center around my favorite character. Continue reading »

The World Cup (?)

 Posted by on 2014/06/11 at 21:17  Soccer, Sports
Jun 112014

No, I didn’t just have a Ron Burgundy moment.  Look, I love the World Cup and am looking forward to a month of great soccer, but I have one complaint about the tournament.  This is the trophy everyone (read: Brazil, Argentina, Spain, Germany, and maybe Uruguay) will be playing for:


Lovely enough, with one issue: IT’S NOT A CUP.  The World Cup’s MVP equivalent, the Golden Ball, looks like a ball.  The Golden Boot looks like a shoe.  The Golden Glove?  Yep, it looks like a glove.  How can FIFA gets all of its trophies right except the most important one?  Wait, they’re FIFA.  Forget I asked that. Continue reading »

Jun 102014

While Season 4 of ‘Game of Thrones’ has been dominated by plot arcs about personal hardships (Arya & The Hound, Brienne, Sansa, Theon / Reek, Bran) and political intrigue (Tyrion, Smooth Bisexual Prince Oberyn, Stannis / Braavos, Baberaham Lincoln, Mayor Carcetti Littlefinger), this week’s installment served us a straight-up, balls-out action flick.

"You want me on that wall! You need me on that wall!"

“You want me on that wall! You need me on that wall!”

As I mentioned last week, this week’s episode enlisted the same director as Season 2’s ‘Blackwater’ episode, the only other episode I can think of that was contained to a single night and location.  It also broke the record, previously held by ‘Blackwater’, for the show’s most expensive episode.

So, why then, did My Mets Fan Brother and I talk yesterday about how it left us somewhat underwhelmed? Continue reading »

Jun 052014

I took a little extra time this week to get my traditional second viewing of this week’s ‘Game of Thrones’ in (and to help My Mets Fan Brother move a bunch of shit up to Hoboken).  There was A LOT going on in Westeros this week.  But, as always, before we get into things…

WARNING: This post contains spoilers that include information regarding up to and including Season 4, Episode 8 of ‘Game of Thrones’.  You’ve been adequately warned.

Let’s start at the end. Continue reading »

A Layman’s Guide to World Cup Soccer

 Posted by on 2014/05/27 at 06:58  Soccer, Sports
May 272014

About a month ago, I set out to explain to non-baseball fans the nuances of baseball’s various forms of “cheating”, because I’m a uniter.  With the World Cup around the corner, I bring the non-soccer people a few pointers to help them understand what the hell they’re watching next month.

Every fourth summer, Americans are told that, like people pretty much everywhere else in the world, they, too, are really, really into soccer.  If for no other reason than it typically morphing into a day-drinking opportunity, Americans usually tune in, and, having never been to Italy, cheer for the Italian soccer team.  That second part might have more to do with me being surrounded by people from New Jersey, and not necessarily reflect “Americans”.  But, I digress.

If you’re one of the people making your quadrennial dip into the other futból world, welcome.  I’m not one of those guys here to lecture you about the “beautiful game” or how soccer is intellectually superior to the popular American sports.  Screw those jerks.  On the contrary, I’m here to make your viewing experience as enjoyable as possible.  So, first, here are a few things you might hear soccer announcers say, and what they mean.  If you do know the rules of soccer, don’t skip this part of the program.  This is really a framework to make jokes masquerading as soccer education.  Promise. Continue reading »

Game of Thrones S4E7: Mockingbird

 Posted by on 2014/05/19 at 16:00  Game of Thrones
May 192014

With only three episodes to go and a Memorial Day hiatus next week, I’m beginning to ponder life between ‘Game of Thrones’ and ‘The Walking Dead’.  I’m reopening the suggestion box for Monday blog topics.

My bad on the lack of a Thursday sports post last week.  I spent the latter half of the week as sick as I’ve been in years.  I’m also taking suggestions for that, and if ya’ll don’t come up with something, you’re probably getting NBA Playoffs.

Also, since I know my demographics, let’s get the obvious ‘mockingbird’ reference out of the way now:

I don’t get why they titled this as a Mayor Carcetti Lord Baelish episode, but, before we get into any of that stuff, there are rules (this isn’t ‘Nam), so…

WARNING: This post contains spoilers that include information regarding up to and including Season 4, Episode 7 of ‘Game of Thrones’.  You’ve been adequately warned.

At the risk of being #ThatGuy, I have a major issue with last night’s installment: it told us almost nothing we didn’t already know.  I suppose that the objective was to use a very dialogue-heavy episode develop a handful of characters.  I enjoy good dialogue.  My two favorite characters were both featured.  And, while I enjoyed the show, I now find myself thinking, “So what?” Continue reading »

May 132014

Don’t think of this post as a day late; think of it as throwing a bone to the DVR / HBO Go crowd.  I struggled with exactly what I wanted to draw from this week’s ‘Game of Thrones’, so I wanted to take some time and watch it again before throwing in my two cents to be read by a half dozen people.  Ah, where’s my sense of propriety?  My bad:

"If anybody should be able to tell a series of half-truths, it should be me"

“If anybody should be able to tell a series of half-truths, it should be me”

WARNING: This post contains spoilers that include information regarding up to and including Season 4, Episode 6 of ‘Game of Thrones’.  You’ve been adequately warned.

As if this post’s title wasn’t enough warning.

Brother’s Keeper

Tywin Lannister is a true G.  When Jaime went to him to plead for his brother’s life, and offered up the biggest chip he could, Tywin could not say “Done” fast enough.  And, because of some pretty good acting work, you can tell that Jaime immediately knew he’d been played. Continue reading »